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Make a Difference - Talk to Your Child About Alcohol
April is Alcohol Awareness Month!
Kids who drink are more likely to be victims of violent crime, to be involved in alcohol-related traffic crashes, and to have serious school-related problems.
You have more influence on your child’s values and decisions about drinking before he or she begins to use alcohol.
Parents can have a major impact on their children’s drinking, especially during the preteen and early teen years.
Introduction
With so many drugs available to young people these days, you may wonder, "Why develop a guide about helping kids avoid alcohol?" Alcohol is a drug, as surely as cocaine and marijuana are. It’s also illegal to drink under the age of 21. And it’s dangerous. Kids who drink are more likely to:
- Be victims of violent crime.
- Have serious problems in school.
- Be involved in drinking-related traffic crashes. This guide is geared to parents and guardians of young people ages 10 to 14. Keep in mind that the suggestions on the following pages are just that - suggestions. Trust your instincts. Choose ideas you are comfortable with, and use your own style in carrying out the approaches you find useful. Your child looks to you for guidance and support in making life decisions-including the decision not to use alcohol.
"But my child isn’t drinking yet," you may think. "Isn’t it a little early to be concerned about drinking?" Not at all. This is the age at which some children begin experimenting with alcohol. Even if your child is not yet drinking, he or she may be receiving pressure to drink. Act now. Keeping quiet about how you feel about your child’s alcohol use may give him or her the impression that alcohol use is OK for kids.
It’s not easy. As children approach adolescence, friends exert a lot of influence. Fitting in is a chief priority for teens, and parents often feel shoved aside. Kids will listen, however. Study after study shows that even during the teen years, parents have enormous influence on their children’s behavior.
The bottom line is that most young teens don’t yet drink. And parents’ disapproval of youthful alcohol use is the key reason children choose not to drink. So make no mistake: You can make a difference.
*Note: This guide uses a variety of terms to refer to young people ages 10 to 14, including youngsters, children, kids, and young teens.
Young Teens and Alcohol: The Risks
For young people, alcohol is the number one drug of choice. In fact, teens use alcohol more frequently and heavily than all other illicit drugs combined. Although most children under age 14 have not yet begun to drink, early adolescence is a time of special risk for beginning to experiment with alcohol.
While some parents and guardians may feel relieved that their teen is "only" drinking, it is important to remember that alcohol is a powerful, mood-altering drug. Not only does alcohol affect the mind and body in often unpredictable ways, but teens lack the judgment and coping skills to handle alcohol wisely. As a result:
- Alcohol-related traffic crashes are a major cause of death among teens. Alcohol use also is linked with youthful deaths by drowning, suicide, and homicide.
- Teens who use alcohol are more likely to become sexually active at earlier ages, to have sexual intercourse more often, and to have unprotected sex than teens who do not drink.
- Young people who drink are more likely than others to be victims of violent crime, including rape, aggravated assault, and robbery.
- Teens who drink are more likely to have problems with school work and school conduct.
- An individual who begins drinking as a young teen is four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than someone who waits until adulthood to use alcohol.
The message is clear: Alcohol use is very risky business for young people. And the longer children delay alcohol use, the less likely they are to develop any problems associated with it. That’s why it is so important to help your child avoid any alcohol use.
Your Young Teen's World
Early adolescence is a time of enormous and often confusing changes for your child, which makes it a challenging time for both your youngster and you. Being tuned in to what it’s like to be a teen can help you stay closer to your child and have more influence on the choices he or she makes-including decisions about using alcohol.
Physical Changes. Most 10- to 14-year-olds experience rapid increases in height and weight as well as the beginnings of sexual development. As a result, many kids feel more self-conscious about their bodies than they did when they were younger and begin to question whether they are "good enough" - tall enough, slender enough, strong enough, attractive enough-compared with others. A young teen who feels he or she doesn’t measure up in some way is more likely to do things to try to please friends, including experimenting with alcohol. During this vulnerable time, it is particularly important to let your children know that in your eyes, they do measure up-and that you care about them deeply.
Thinking Skills. Most young teens are still very "now" oriented and are just beginning to understand that their actions-such as drinking-have consequences. They also tend to believe that bad things won’t happen to them, which helps to explain why they often take risks. Therefore, it is very important for adults to invest time in helping kids understand how and why alcohol-related risks do apply to them.
Social and Emotional Changes. As children approach adolescence, friends and "fitting in" become extremely important. Young teens increasingly look to friends and the media for clues on how to behave and begin to question adults’ values and rules. Given these normal developments, it is perhaps not surprising that parents often experience conflict with their kids as they go through early adolescence. During this sometimes stormy time, perhaps your toughest challenge is to try to respect your child’s growing drive for independence while still providing support and appropriate limits.
Did You Know?
That according to a national survey, one in five eighth graders reports drinking alcohol within the past month?
That 17 percent of eighth graders say they have gotten drunk at least once in the past year?
That 71 percent of young teens say that alcohol is easy to get?
The Bottom Line: A Strong Parent-Child Relationship
You may wonder why a guide to preventing teen alcohol use is putting so much emphasis on parents’ need to understand and support their children. But the fact is, the best way to influence your child to avoid drinking is to have a strong, trusting relationship with him or her. Research shows that teens are much more likely to delay drinking when they feel they have a close, supportive tie with a parent or guardian. Moreover, if your son or daughter eventually does begin to drink, a good relationship with you will help protect him or her from developing alcohol-related problems.
The opposite is also true: When the relationship between a parent and teen is full of conflict or is very distant, the teen is more likely to use alcohol and to develop drinking-related problems. This connection between the parent-child relationship and a child’s drinking habits makes a lot of sense when you think about it. First, when children have a strong bond with a parent, they are apt to feel good about themselves and therefore be less likely to cave in to peer pressure to use alcohol. Second, a good relationship with you is likely to influence your children to try to live up to your expectations, because they want to maintain their close tie with you. Here are some ways to build a strong, supportive bond with your child:
Establish open communication. Make it easy for your teen to talk honestly with you.
Show you care. Even though young teens may not always show it, they still need to know they are important to their parents. Make it a point to regularly spend one-on-one time with your child - time when you can give him or her your loving, undivided attention. Some activities to share: a walk, a bike ride, a quiet dinner out, or a cookie-baking session.
Draw the line. Set clear, realistic expectations for your child’s behavior. Establish appropriate consequences for breaking rules and consistently enforce them.
Offer acceptance. Make sure your teen knows that you appreciate his or her efforts as well as accomplishments. Avoid hurtful teasing or criticism.
Understand that your child is growing up. This doesn’t mean a hands-off attitude. But as you guide your child’s behavior, also make an effort to respect his or her growing need for independence and privacy.
Good Reasons for Teens Not to Drink:
- You want your child to avoid alcohol.
- You want your child to maintain self-respect.
- You want them to know drinking is illegal.
- Drinking at their age can be dangerous.
- You may have a family history of alcoholism.
Tips for Communicating With Your Teen
Developing open, trusting communication between you and your child is essential to helping your child avoid alcohol use. If your child feels comfortable talking openly with you, you’ll have a greater chance of guiding him or her toward healthy decisionmaking. Some ways to begin:
Encourage conversation. Encourage your child to talk about whatever interests him or her. Listen without interruption and give your child a chance to teach you something new. Your active listening to your child’s enthusiasms paves the way for conversations about topics that concern you.
Ask open-ended questions. Encourage your teen to tell you how he or she thinks and feels about the issue you’re discussing. Avoid questions that have a simple "yes" or "no" answer.
Control your emotions. If you hear something you don’t like, try not to respond with anger. Instead, take a few deep breaths and acknowledge your feelings in a constructive way.
Make every conversation a "win-win" experience. Don’t lecture or try to "score points" on your teen by showing how he or she is wrong. If you show respect for your child’s viewpoint, he or she will be more likely to listen to and respect yours.
More Info!
Talking With Your Teen About Alcohol, Six Ways to Say NO to a Drink, Mom, Dad, Did You Drink When You Were a Kid?, Taking Action: Prevention Strategies for Parents
Could Your Child Develop a Drinking Problem?, Warning Signs of a Drinking Problem, Action Checklist
Below are some books with information about children and alcohol. Use Amazon.com's secure server to order:
 Alcohol 101: Overview / Teens: - Margaret Hyde. Buy it now through Amazon.com's secure server!
Click HERE or on the image of the books to give this gift to yourself or someone else!
Young, Sober & Free: Teen to Teen Stories of Hope & Recovery: - Shelly Marshall. Buy it NOW through Amazon.com's secure server!
Click HERE or on the image of the books to give this gift to yourself or someone else!
Visit the following Internet sites for more information about children and alcohol prevention:
Copyright © National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. Reprinted with permission.
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