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Lessons From Mr. Rogers
Shows like Rugrats and Sponge Bob have taken the place of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood, but the lessons learned while watching this gentle man will be with me forever. If you watched his show, you will remember that Fred Rogers chose to make each day "snappy" and he didn’t mean "snappy" as in, "Hurry up Mr. McFeeley I’ve got 94 other things on my To-Do list."
Sadly, our world is very different from Fred Roger’s Neighborhood. We don’t come waltzing in anywhere singing, and we certainly don’t have the time to change into play clothes (let alone find a matching pair of shoes to change in to) before digging into our projects. We would come running in stuffing a Power Bar in our mouths for lunch as we apologized for being late. Our cell phone would be ringing as we finished entering into our pocket pc, King Friday’s orders from the last meeting we ran from. Out of breath, and dropping several files onto the floor we would greet our "neighbor" and ask them to hold on while we checked our e-mail.
Mister Roger’s connected with the people around him and they knew it. When someone came by Fred was "all there." He made them feel special. How do I know? Because he made me feel special, and he taught me many things along the way. Here are two simple lessons from Mister Roger’s to help you reconnect with what matters most.
Lesson one-Mister Roger’s kept a simple schedule that included "wiggle room."
When was the last time you felt that you had too many things on your plate or too many activities, appointments and tasks scheduled? Have you told someone to hurry up lately, or even thought, "I wish this person would hurry up!"
We are an over-scheduled, over-stretched, complicated and worn out culture! We somehow feel a sense of pride when we have 100 items on our "To-Do" list, when we should be ashamed at what we are doing to the important people around us, not to mention to our own bodies! We are beat up.
Mister Roger’s knew he would have visitors drop by unexpectedly, and he welcomed them in. He knew that a project may take a little extra time or Mr. McFeeley would want to show him something down at the music shop, and he had that wiggle room built in just for those situations.
How do we make people feel? Rushed? Unimportant? Be intentional about leaving some wiggle room in your schedule for the next five days to see the difference it makes. You will leave work with a greater sense of satisfaction, knowing you were “ALL THERE” for people, instead of pretending to be there as you finished typing that proposal or answering the last seven e-mail messages.
I tend to be overly optimistic when it comes to what I think I can do in a specified time period. For example, I will tell my husband that I am going to run to the office supply store, stop off at Barnes and Nobel to pick up a book that I ordered, go by the post office before picking up the girls from school and that I will be home in 30 minutes! He laughs and asks if I was in the movie, Clock Stoppers. I guess I have a hard time with "wiggle room."
I have to write it into my schedule in order for it to exist, because I know I will be interrupted. I know 55 extra phone calls will come in and that I will chat 55 minutes longer than I should.
Implement this first lesson and then celebrate your success by scheduling a nice relaxing bubble bath or you can take a leisurely walk around your neighborhood since it’s a "neighborly day for a beauty."
The second lesson from the neighborhood is to be totally present for people. Mister Rogers could have been in the middle of a science project or watching Picture-Picture, and when someone came to the door or called him, he was all there for him or her.
How many times do we pretend to be all there while talking to someone on the telephone? As if they can’t hear the tap-tap-tapping of our keyboard!
It’s difficult, at times, to feel the same sense of urgency, or truly empathize with someone when you are on your own agenda. Mister Rogers made people feel as if they were the most important person right then and there.
Not long ago I was making a salad to bring to a friend’s dinner party, when I heard a blood-curdling scream come from Bailey, my six-year-old in the family room. I ran in expecting to see blood spurting from someone’s head, and I heard my 12-year-old daughter yell, "It was just a stupid toe nail!" TOE NAIL? Whose toenail? Did it come all the way off? I didn’t have time to be cleaning up blood here!
Through the intense sobbing Bailey began to explain that Taylor had thrown TONY the TOE NAIL across the room. Now let me quickly give you some history on Tony.
The day before Bailey had cut her little toe nails and she became very attached to her itty-bitty pinky toenail so she named it Tony and made a house for him in her purse. When she took Tony out today to let him ice skate on a small mirror, Taylor, my 12 year old, didn’t see it and picked up the mirror, sending Tony skydiving!
(Okay, so maybe my girls need some new toys to play with, but that’s another story!)
I knew we had to hurry and solve this crisis if we were ever to get to the dinner party. Bailey’s agenda was to find Tony and my agenda was slightly different! Before I could sarcastically say something like, "Just bring a staple and name him Stephen," or "Can’t you play with dolls like other girls your age" I saw the desperate look on her little face and I said, "We will find Tony!"
On our hands and knees we searched through our light beige carpet-me in one corner and each of the girls in another. Now my brilliant 12 year old crawled over to me and whispered, "Mom, I can go cut my pinky fingernail and say I found Tony, so we can go!" "You’re a genius!" I said. Ten seconds later, Taylor came in proclaiming, "I found him!" Bailey ran over to inspect.
She took one look at the tiny particle and said, "This isn’t Tony. But I think it’s his sister Tammy!"
Content with the replacement, we went to the dinner party with Tammy the fingernail and got there before dessert. Sure I could have made her forget about Tony and just get in the car, but sometimes we have to get off of our agenda, just for a moment or two, to see the value the other person has placed in their agenda item. It may be something as silly as a toenail or as serious as a new idea someone wanted to share with you, but practice being present.
Mister Roger’s said, "We don't have to be geniuses in order to be of help to our neighbor. All we have to do is to be ourselves and care about our neighbor and that is how we make a difference in someone else's life." Make a difference this week in the lives of the people around you...be all there!
Copyright © Gina Schreck. Gina is the "Cheerman of the Bored" at SchreckTalk Keynotes and The Pinnacle Group. She helps people reconnect with what matters most! Gina is the author of Inside Out Success: Reconnecting with What Matters Most, and she speaks to organizations that want to improve relationships from the inside out. To contact Gina, call 303-978-0887 or check out her website. Reprinted with permission.
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