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Co-sleeping: Is a Family Bed for You?
While pregnant with my first daughter I swore I would never do it. I gasped as my friend said it was a wonderful experience she enjoyed immensely with her new son. Immediately, I listed several reasons why this act is dangerous and vowed against it myself. A few months later my daughter was born and I found myself doing it too. What is this controversial act? It’s co-sleeping.
It seems with co-sleeping there is no middle ground. You are either completely for it, or completely against it. According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, 64 children under the age of 2 die each year in co-sleeping related accidents. If co-sleeping is this dangerous, why are so many parents, including myself, choosing it as an option?
Many people say co-sleeping helps their baby fall asleep easier and stay asleep longer. Breastfeeding moms find it’s easier to nurse their babies back to sleep because they are awakened by them sooner than if they were in another bed. This means they can nurse their baby back to sleep before either are fully awake. Some parents feel it helps them to regain the closeness they missed during the day because of separation from their child due to work. I started co-sleeping for a combination of these reasons. The first few nights my daughter was home I was terrified she would go to sleep and not wake up. Maybe it was because of all the articles I read about SIDS, or maybe it was the fact we lost our first child and I couldn’t bear the thought of loosing her too. I wanted her in my bed so I could feel her breath. I wanted to be with her every moment I possibly could.
There are dangers associated with co-sleeping, but there are also preventative measures you can take to help insure your child’s safety. I did research before putting my family in a co-sleeping situation
and followed these safe sleeping recommendations:
- Always place babies on their backs to reduce the risk of SIDS, whether they are in a family bed or crib.
- Fluffy pillows, comforters, blankets, and other plush items are a risk factor for suffocation in both a family bed or a crib.
- Leave your child’s head uncovered when they are sleeping in a family bed or a crib.
- Make sure your bed or crib is away from drapes or binds where your child could be strangled by the cords.
- Do not put your baby in your bed if you have consumed drugs, alcohol, medications that may cause drowsiness, or if you are overly exhausted.
- Make sure the headboard and footboard of your bed do not have cutouts or openings where your baby’s head could be trapped.
- Be sure your mattress fits snugly in the bed frame so your baby cannot get trapped.
- Never sleep with baby on a waterbed or a couch.
- Be careful not to overheat baby with blankets or thick clothing.
- Do not wear jewelry or sleepwear that could cause entanglement for your child.
- Do not let older children sleep with a baby under 9 months. They do not have to same awareness that adults do and can easily roll on top of them.
Co-sleeping can be very rewarding. I lay awake and listen to my children breath and know they are safe. If someone has a nightmare I am first on the scene. They wake up comforted and feel safe because I am there.
I am not going to say every moment of co-sleeping is always harmonious. While my three year old daughter has slept all night since putting her in our bed at only a few weeks, my one year old daughter has never slept all night. Most nights she wakes up at least six times from small noises, movement or to eat. I am also finding out weaning while co-sleeping is a challenge. She is accustom to snuggling close and eating when she wakes up. It is hard for her to understand why something we have always done, and enjoyed, is no longer an option.
Even though I have faced challenges, for me a family bed is the best choice. Co-sleeping is not for everyone. It is a personal decision every parent must make. If you do not feel comfortable with the idea of having a family bed, don’t let anyone pressure you into it. On the other hand, if you feel it is the best option for your family, please follow all safe sleeping recommendations before doing so. Always remember, the safest way to sleep is always best.
Sites that helped me learn about co-sleeping: KidsHealth.com, and AskSears.com.
Click here to read other articles by Heidi Walbourn.
Copyright © Heidi Walbourn. Reprinted with permission.
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