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Keeping in Touch with Grandparents
In many families, grandparents play a very important role in the lives of their grandchildren. Some may live far away, but stay in touch so they will know what's happening in their grandchildren's lives. Other grandparents may live close enough to see their grandchildren often, which enables them to become an integral part of the family. Nowadays, more grandparents are even taking over the role as parent to their grandkids. If you're a grandparent, or if you're the parent of a child who is looking for ways for them to stay in touch with their grandparents, this article is for you. Whatever the distance between your family, there are many ways to keep the relationship close.
As far back as I can remember, my grandparents were always an important part of my life growing up. The lived nearby and were there to watch me after school when my mother was working, and they provided everything a child needed & wanted -- love, care, nourishment, entertainment, and so much more. My grandparents lived in the pre-Internet era, so they didn't get to experience all that came with it, for example, webcams They certainly didn't know that keeping in touch would ever be just a keystroke away. It would have been nice to have had both of my grandparents experience the many different ways that families stay in touch today. Although, they might not have made much use of it all since they lived so close back then. Who knows... if they were still alive and lived further away, it's possible that they might have accepted all that today's technology has to offer. They would have done anything to stay close to their grandchildren.
How can you help your children stay close with their grandparents?
~Have your children and their grandparents talk on the phone
There's nothing like hearing the voice of someone you love on the other end of the phone. Very young children may not be ready to talk on the phone, so depending on how old they are, you can hold the phone up to their ear. A nice idea would be to hold up a photo of your child's grandparent as they're listening to them on the phone -- it's a great way for them to put a face to their grandparent's voice. If your child doesn't want to talk on the phone (some younger children and even teenagers) may feel awkward talking on the phone. If this happens, try putting the phone on speaker -- besides being able to hear their grandparent just as though they were in the same room with them, it allows everyone in the room to take part in the conversation. If your child's grandparents do not have a computer, it would be quickest to pick up a phone and keep the connection going. Or if your child is older, enjoys using their cell phone, and their grandparents have a cell phone and texting enabled, texting may work for them. It's a great way to send brief messages and stay in touch.
~Have your children write letters or cards
When my child was very young I used to write a newsletter to family that lived far away. It gave me a chance to keep everyone up-to-date with what my child was doing, learning, saying, and enjoying. Letter writing takes a bit more time, but there is something about it that keeps things very personal and lasting. Phone calls are wonderful, but once you hang up, all you have is the memory of the phone conversation. So, if you go one step further, after your child talks to their grandparent on the phone, have them sit down and write a letter to their grandparent. Then, if they're able to write, their grandparent can write back to them. If they can't write back, their grandparent can either have someone write a letter for them, or call and talk about things that your child wrote in their letter. Letters have a lasting quality, because they can be referred to at any moment. Letters shouldn't replace phone calls, but should be a welcome addition. Have your child include photographs to their letter to complete their story and help explain events that they’ve written about. Also, their stories don't have to be about true events in their life -- they can begin a fictional tale, mail it, and have their grandparents both write the next paragraph or chapter and then send it back. I bet your children will excitedly watch the mailbox for the next installment to arrive. Letter writing can be fun for everyone, so join in on the fun and write a letter with them!
Your child and grandparents can record themselves (cassette for easy play-back, or DVD for video watching). This method allows both parties to show the other how they look and act, with as much or as little emotion as they choose. Children might have fun acting in front of the camera, and could get quite entertaining showing off for their grandparents.
~Do you and your child's grandparents have computers?
In today's world, many more people have computers in their home, or know a place where they can use email, and/or instant messaging. If your child is old enough to type on the computer, and their grandparents have access to a computer as well, this is a wonderful way for them to keep their relationship current. If you don't have Internet service inside your home, there are many places where you can get a free email address and check it for free. A few of the more well known email sites are Google's Gmail, AOL, Yahoo!, and Windows Live Hotmail, from MSN.
Having your child write letters on a computer is a wonderful way for them to practice typing. As one parent says, "My child started out on the computer when she was just a few months old – she used a Comfy keyboard and got used to pushing the right buttons in relation to what was on the computer monitor. She then became very familiar with the computer keyboard, and as she got older she developed her typing skills and her speed increased to a phenomenal level over a very short period. She even became the fastest typist in her school. Typing out school reports is no longer a problem, and I don’t have to do them for her anymore!" It’s never too late for your child to learn how to type, and emails provide the perfect reason for them to practice. :)
Email certainly is a nice way to keep in touch, and you could even manage to communicate a few times each day if you have easy access to a computer. If you do have easy access to a computer, you might want to try instant messaging. Instant messaging, or IM, is like sending a message to someone else in real time. If all parties involved are on at the same time, you can send and receive messages immediately. It’s an easy, affordable way to keep in touch with family and friends who live far away. But you don’t only have to talk to those who are far away – you can send instant messages from any one computer to another…anywhere. There are a few better-known sites where you can download free software to instant message: AIM, from AOL, AIM, from AOL, Yahoo! Messenger, and Windows Live Messenger. If your child is older and already using Internet chat lingo, you can help their grandparents learn some basic acronyms by viewing this webpage.
Another fun thing for your child and their grandparents to do on the Internet, is to meet up in an online virtual game. There are many of these online games to choose from, so just be careful you choose the appropriate game for the age of your child. When you find a game, be sure that you sign up as well, so you can be sure of the environment that your child will be playing in. Also, as we have mentioned in previous articles, be sure to keep your computer out of your child's room. Just as you wouldn't leave your child alone with a stranger, you wouldn't want your child to be left alone in a virtual world with people they do not know. Once we sign into the Internet, we open up the doors to our home. Always be sure to monitor children while online.
If you or your child’s grandparents have a computer, and are enjoying sending emails and Ims, but long to hear each other’s voices without the high cost of a long distance telephone calls, there are a few things that you can do if you have a microphone and speakers. There are sites where you can download software to make calls over the Internet. Some examples are: Skype and StanaPhone. If you have a plan from Vonage, there is the Vonage V-Phone that allows you to make and receive calls on any computer with a high-speed Internet connection (currently only compatible with Windows).
~Does your child enjoy sleepovers?
One parent says, "My child wasn’t old enough to enjoy sleepovers at friends’ houses where I didn’t know the parents well. So until he got old enough, I allowed him to sleep over my mom and dad’s house. It was great for both my parents and my son to get to know each other without me being there. They enjoyed having him all to themselves for a night and I enjoyed a date night out with my husband. It was good for both of us, and we were so happy to see each other the next day when I went to pick him up." Having your child spend a night away at their grandparents is wonderful if they are within reasonable distance. But if they live farther away, it may take some more planning. The trip might even turn into a vacation for your entire family. However you plan it, and however long your child’s trip lasts, it’s sure to be a special experience for everyone.
Grandparents are our connection to our family’s past
I remember many times when my grandparents used to tell me stories about "the olden days." I didn’t realize it then, but those were times that I wish I had taken time to really listen and to ask questions. It would have been great to have all those stories written down so I could read them to my own child. Everything my grandparents had told me about their past, is a part of my own past, which in turn is a part of my child’s past. Those stories make a connection that we will always have to family members who are no longer with us.
It’s not always feasible for us to stay in contact with certain family members. But if you cannot think of any good reasons why your child shouldn't stay in touch with their grandparents, then you might want to think about making a phone call that is long overdue. If your own grandparents are still alive, and you haven't been keeping in touch with them, you might want to think about making a connection there as well. As one wise parent once said, "Grandparents are the key to our past, and our future – we shouldn’t throw them away."
Quotes we like:
"Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them." -- Rita Rudner
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." -- Ellen DeGeneres
"A garden of Love grows in a Grandmother's heart." -- Author Unknown
"When a child is born, so are grandmothers." -- Judith Levy
Grandparents Day is celebrated on the 1st Sunday after Labor Day.
Below are some websites that might be of interest:
Online Virtual Worlds for Children:
Below are some books about grandparents. Use Amazon.com's secure server to order:
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