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To Humiliate, or Not to Humiliate:
Bully Teachers
"Treat others the way you wish to be treated."
I'm sure you've heard this saying many times. But does it apply in school settings? Do teachers have a responsibility to their students, in the way that they treat them?
According to a survey of students and parents, there are a great many teachers who do respect students. This respect goes a long way in teaching the student respect, and that has a big impact on a student's learning. What a number of teachers may not realize though, is that it also makes a difference in how the student feels about themselves. Teachers have a responsibility to teach, but are they also required to be respectful and teach in a manner that helps build up a child's self esteem?
Let's say for example, that we have a teacher who scolds a child for a negative behavior, without allowing the child to explain themselves nor giving them a chance to change that negative behavior... we are left with a child who may very well believe that they cannot do anything right, and may eventually not care how they behave. They may look at the situation as, "if my teacher doesn't care about me, why should I care?" Children with constant negative behavior may not care to begin with, but good kids will be made to suffer. They may withdraw, feel less confident, and their grades may reflect their unhappiness. So, in reality what's happening is, the teacher might be receiving a negative action as a direct result of his or her negative action. This method does not prepare an atmosphere that is conducive to learning.
There are also those teachers who feel the need to humiliate their students in order to make them stop their bad behavior, or to punish them. This is a tricky situation, if for example a teacher catches a student cheating or talking during a test. This is a different situation than if a teacher grades test papers and suspects cheating. But regardless of the situation the fact of the matter is, that humiliating students, especially in front of their peers, produces nothing positive. It's a form of bullying and must be stopped. According to Alan McEvoy, "Students who are bullied by teachers typically experience confusion, anger, fear, self-doubt, and profound concerns about their academic and social competencies."* The following is a straight-A, Honor Roll student's experience of being humiliated just once by a long time teacher:
"The teacher had given out all the test papers, except for me and the girl sitting next to me. The teacher then began a conversation with both of us in front of the entire class. She told us that she suspected us of cheating on the test and would not give our papers back. I was so upset I began to feel sick. The teacher made us both sit at opposite ends of the classroom and retake the open book test without our books. I could not concentrate, because by that time I was having stomach pains, a headache, and was shaking all over. I knew I didn't cheat, so when the class was over I went to my teacher and told her that I promised that I didn't cheat. I knew she didn't believe me. After class I ended up going to the school nurse, who found that my blood pressure was up and my heart rate was over 100 bpm. This experience made me feel embarrassed and feel like my teacher didn't care. Because she publicly accused me of cheating, other kids in the class were asking me if I had gotten a detention. I had to defend myself and tell them that I didn't cheat. I wish my teacher had talked to me in private instead of sharing her suspicions with the entire class."
-- Student, name withheld
The act of teachers humiliating students, while not the proper method of response to a suspicion of cheating, is quite common according to the many students and parents polled. In fact, there are teachers who may feel it's necessary to humiliate their students in order to bring themselves to a higher level. Unfortunately, humiliation does nothing positive for any person, at any age. And especially for students in those precarious early teenage years...these teachers do not realize that their actions directly affect the lives of their students. Students should feel they are able to talk to their teachers without judgement, and feel as though they care. No matter the grade, teachers need to build up the confidence in their students -- not bring it down. Students who are more confident in class are more apt to behave better. This allows them a greater chance at learning, and makes them want to learn. All it takes is a little respect...
Treat others as you wish to be treated.
If all teachers adopted this motto, we might have more children who are interested in learning, and less children who just don't care. I often wonder if a teacher was in the students' place and vice versa, would the teacher want to be humiliated? I can't imagine that they would be.
If you're a teacher, and you're not doing everything in your power to build up the confidence of your students, we urge you to please start doing so. Children who experience recurring negative situations in school, even with a teacher, change -- it may be a subtle change, but still a change...and it isn't a positive one. Parents can only do so much at home, and they rely on teachers to continue raising their spirit at school. As one parent remembers...
"My child used to feel very good about herself until one of her teachers humiliated her in class. She became more clingy at home and needed constant reassurance. All the progress I had made making my child feel good about herself while growing up, was wiped away in an instant."
-- Parent, name withheld
It's easy to apply a scientific law to daily life. For example, Newton's Third Law of Motion states: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. When teachers push their students in a negative light, an equal force will result...but it will be in the opposite direction and have an opposite affect than what was planned.
Teachers, especially teachers of adolescents, should be required to take courses in child psychology so they can properly understand the damage that would be instilled if a child is humiliated. Teachers who use bullying tactics to degrade children should receive some form of punishment, as well as the school if they are aware of it happening.
What Can Parents Do?
Just as children should not be left to deal with peer bullying on their own, they should not be left to deal with bullying from their teachers. Parents, let your children know that they can talk to you about anything (this goes without saying, not only in school situations). Tell them you will listen without judgement, and help them work out whatever problems they may have. Tell them to let you know if a teacher is repeatedly picking on them or accusing them of negative behavior. Although it takes just one episode of bullying to have a negative affect on children, you should also discuss with your child that not all teachers are nice and caring. Throughout their school years they will encounter many teachers with a wide variety of teaching styles, and with your help they will learn to distinguish which of those teaching styles borders on the line of bullying. Always have them talk to you if something is bothering them.
You should contact your child's teacher if your child does show any signs of distress from any bullying experience. Tell your child's teacher (many teachers make their email address readily available to parents) that you would like to discuss an incident and that you need advice on how you both can help your child. It's preferrable to have the Assistant/Vice Principal or Principal in on the meeting. If the outcome of your meeting is not satisfactory to you, don't hesitate to file a report with the Principal (if he/she was not in on the meeting), or bring your concerns to the school board. If the bullying appears to be an ongoing problem, you may want to consider having your child's class changed. No matter how small, teacher bullying should not be overlooked.
If you're a teacher, and you're not already doing this for your students, please think about providing a positive atmosphere of caring, self-esteem building, and supportive learning for your students. They will always remember you and you will forever be a part of a defining moment in their lives. It just takes a moment to change a child's life forever -- it's up to you to decide which way to change it.
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