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Talking with Your Tween About
If your child is being cyberbullied, who is the first person that he or she might turn to for help? You? A friend? A brother or sister? A teacher or a coach?  Social networking shows your tween's personality to the world, and opens up a whole new environment to navigate. Visit NSTeens.org for animated videos and comics that help your 8-12 yr old deal responsibly with the online world. You may have guessed friend, but surprisingly - it’s you! As an 8 to 12 year-old, your tween is more likely to turn to you when it comes to cyberbullying. A new survey shows that 96% of tweens talk to their parents about their online activities.1 Sixty-eight percent of tweens prefer talking to moms, while 42% would rather talk with dads. That’s great news for parents and guardians, especially if their children are on the younger side of tween years. Make good use of your influence now. By the time your child turns 12 years-old, only 69% are telling their parents “a lot or everything” about what they do online, versus 86% of 8-10 year olds.2 If you feel your child knows more about technology than you do, you may feel ill-equipped for the conversation. Experts say it’s not uncommon for parents and guardians to feel that way, or to express hesitation about “invading” their child’s privacy. “Parents and guardians need to educate themselves about the online world and the issues their tweens are dealing with,” said Nancy A. McBride, National Safety Director with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® (NCMEC). “Even the most tech-savvy parents and guardians can use a discussion starter, and that’s where NSTeens is a great resource.” Created by NCMEC in partnership with Sprint, NSTeens.org, is part of the 4NetSafety program. The animated NSTeens web comics and videos are designed by NCMEC’s NetSmartz Workshop®, and speak to today’s tweens in an honest voice that doesn’t sound like another adult lecture. The site doesn’t gloss over the potential risks tweens might encounter online, but it doesn’t use scare tactics either. The site’s safety tips, discussion starters, and activities can be used by parents, guardians, and educators to open up lines of communication.  Visit NSTeens.org for animated videos and comics that help your 8-12 year old deal responsibly with the online world. Get in the Know: What Tweens Really Do Online “NSTeens.org is based on real life and what real kids do online,” said a sixth-grader using the site. And that’s where its strength lies for parents and guardians – it’s not only a great resource for your tween – it’s a window for you into their world. “Any parent, guardian, or educator talking with tweens about online safety needs to know what they really do online, so they know what questions to ask,” said McBride. “The site’s characters explore and live these situations. They provide a vehicle that parents and guardians can use to talk with their tween about online activities.” Many a parent will say – it’s one thing to talk with your tween about keeping a profile set to private on a social networking site. It’s another to discover your child is being cyberbullied, or even bullying another child online. NSTeens promotes conversation about appropriate online behavior and responsibility, not just website settings.  Visit NSTeens.org for animated videos and comics that help your 8-12 year old deal responsibly with the online world. In the NSTeens video Terrible tEXt, characters Lolo and Keyan discuss what to do when Lolo receives a series of harassing text messages from Keyan’s ex-girlfriend. Keyan advises Lolo to ignore the messages and tell an adult. It’s not an uncommon situation. One in 5 tweens report they have a friend who has been cyberbullied, according to Cox Communication’s 2008 survey Tweens and Internet Safety. By the time children reach age 17, the percentage of those who report that they have been cyberbullied rises to 32%3. Schools are taking a greater interest in online safety by making it a mandatory part of the curriculum, and taking notice of NSTeens as a valuable resource. After reviewing the site with his students, sixth grade teacher William Ferriter said, “NSTeens provides relevant content in an engaging and approachable format.” Getting Your Child in the Know: What Parents and Guardians Can Do Talking with your child about online risks and behaviors can have more of an impact than you might think. Seventy-three percent of tweens report that their parents have talked with them “a lot” about Internet safety.4 These tweens are more aware of potential risks and more likely to be concerned about how sharing personal information could impact their futures. They’re also more likely to talk to their parents and guardians about their online activities. So how do you make sure you’re ready for that conversation? McBride and NCMEC offer the following tips for parents and guardians: Set household rules for Internet usage. Keep the family computer in a public place, not a child’s bedroom. Post your family’s guidelines for using the Internet nearby. Know how often your tween is online. Make sure you know where else or what other ways tweens are going online and set guidelines for their cell phone use as well. Have limits. Parents and guardians should set limits about what personal information their children share online. NCMEC recommends that children, tweens, and teens should not post their last name, phone number, mailing address, email address, school, or activity schedules. Get the permission of a parent before posting photos online. Encourage your tween to think before posting. Everyone is online these days – including college recruiters and potential employers. Tweens should be aware that what they post for fun about themselves and their friends may come back to haunt and hurt them later. Spell out your expectations for online behavior. Talk with your tween about online behavior toward peers and others. It’s often easier to say something mean online than in person. Know where your tween goes online. Sit with your child at the computer and ask him or her to show you where he or she goes online. If your child has a profile, look at it together and check the access settings. Your child may not show you everything they like to do online, but this is a great way to start talking. Ask who your child’s online friends are. Review buddy and friend lists. Be careful about who your tweens add to their friend lists and what information they share. Take action if you find something concerning. If your tween comes to you with something disturbing or potentially illegal, report it to the proper authorities, such as your Internet service provider, the CyberTipline, or law enforcement. Keep the channels of communication open. Not talking with your tween about these issues may isolate him or her from you. You want your child to be comfortable coming to you about a problem they encounter online, so they won’t seek out or be as susceptible to someone else’s overtures.  Twenty-two percent of children report they have a friend who is cyberbullied. On NSTeens.org, tweens explore real life issues that come up online. 1Teenage Research Unlimited. Tween Internet Safety Survey. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications, 2008. 2Ibid, page 10 3Lenhart, Amanda. Cyberbullying and Online Teens. Pew Internet & American Life Project. June 27, 2007. 4Teenage Research Unlimited. Tween Internet Safety Survey. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications, 2008.
Click here to read other articles by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.
Copyright © NCMEC. This article was provided by the NetSmartz® Workshop at the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children®. Images provided by the NetSmartz Workshop at the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Click here to check out the site. Reprinted with permission. |
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