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The Stormy Days of Middle School
It's huge compared to anything an elementary school child has ever experienced. To many children, entering middle school is a defining moment. It's a feeling of the unknown that a child is forced to make friends with. Many children would rather stay with the familiarity of their elementary school than to move on to middle school. Then there are those children who can't wait to be in a new school, continuing on with their friends & making new friends...learning new things and being treated more as a grown-up. But does middle school set the stage for problems to arise? Would children be better off going to one school through grade 8 until they are ready for high school? I'm a bit undecided on this idea, but it's certainly an interesting thought...
Middle school -- it certainly brings back a lot of memories. Some of those memories bring a smile to my face. Then there are some I'd just soon forget. I'm sure there are many parents who feel this way. Has middle school changed much since you were a teenager? Some may say that depends on the school, and what type of teen you were. Did you spend your school years concentrating on getting good grades and making the honor roll? Or did you hang out with the troubled crowd who cared more about being the most outrageous -- getting detention, or bullying others? I guess you could say that in a lot of ways, middle school hasn't changed at all. Except now, these parents get to relive their middle school years through their child's eyes. And what these eyes are seeing, may not be acceptable.
"If my parents knew everything that actually went on at my school, she would probably want to homeschool me." -- Denny, age 13
The middle school I attended so many years ago, seemed huge to me back then. It was a big school, and I remember being able to walk the hallways without a teacher's presence. I don't remember having to rush to each class because if I didn't get there in time, I would get a detention. If we were late to class back then, we were marked late. When I compare my school's rules to the rules of some middle schools today, I think back then we had it easier. It was too easy to leave school grounds during the day to cut classes -- heavy consequences were not discussed like they are stressed today. In many of today's schools, students are threatened with detention if they arrive to class one second after the bell rings.
"On my first day of middle school, I was given a detention for not being in my seat after the bell rang. I was in class, just not sitting down. I had a good excuse too -- my watch had caught onto my book bag and I couldn't get free. My teacher didn't want to hear any excuses though -- there are no second chances in my school. I sometimes feel like I'm in prison." -- Allison, age 12
The level of freedom in many of today's middle schools varies, although I have to say that I prefer schools to be more strict than not. Some of today's kids need a strict routine, especially if they don't live in that type of environment at home. Although it's sad that good kids have to suffer somewhat in order to be protected from kids who don't care. I'm sure most parents would be grateful to know that their child's school may be one that is taking steps to protect their students...at least the faculty may be trying to do their best.
"I don't like to use the bathrooms at my school -- even though you're not supposed to hang out in there, kids still do...and they sometimes start fights. It's good that they took off the outside doors to the bathrooms, but that doesn't stop bad things from happening in there." -- Janet, age 14
Bullying is another problem that just doesn't seem to go away. It was present back when we were kids, and it still exists in your child's world. Only today's bullying is much more damaging and more quickly to spread, mostly because of the existence of cellphone use. In one minute, one student can either text a damaging note about someone or send a video to many friends, leading the rumour to take on a life of its own. Instead of the victim being affected by just those around him/her, he/she is now humiliated by a larger group of people. And if that note or video ends up on the Internet, the damage the victim will feel can be widespread.
"When there is a fight at school, instead of other kids trying to stop it, sometimes many of them will take out their cell phones and start to video it or take pictures. I haven't seen any from my school online, but I've seen others. If no one's uploaded pictures to YouTube, I'm sure they've at least sent it to their friends. I'm sure they laugh each time they watch it." -- Shannon, age 13
Years ago, schools were more or less a safe place for our kids to be. With a record number of school shootings in recent years, schools in today's world are a much more uncertain place. Kids also continue to be confronted with many issues -- bad language, adult topics, peer pressure, peer, teacher & cyber bullying, drugs, and lack of parent involvement are just a few. Today's kids think their parents don't understand all they have to go through -- of course they think we had it easy back then. But was it really easier? I believe we had a lot to deal with for the time we lived in. The fact that we now have Internet just makes things happen faster and on a grander scale.
What can parents do to help their children during their middle school years?
First and foremost, keep open communication between you and your children. Let them know that you will be there no matter what, and that you won't judge them. And just because your kids are now teenagers, doesn't mean that you should stop practicing "what if" scenerios with them -- the situations are just a bit more complicated. Your children should know what to do in different situations, and if you've rehearsed what to do beforehand, they may be able to get themselves out of a difficult situation if they ever encounter one. Just because our children are older doesn't mean they don't still need our guidance. Be involved in their daily lives, volunteer your time at your child's school, ask what's important to your children, and most of all, love them for who they are. :)
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