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Homework
Parents play an important role in their child's education.
Parents are their child's first teacher; they can't retire from
this job when the child enters school. It's simplistic and
unwise to think that the teacher can do it all.
All parents must TAKE AN INTEREST in their child's schooling,
know what material the child is covering in school, and be in
communication with the child's teacher.
Parents set the stage for learning long before the child goes to school.
Hopefully before kindergarten a child has already learned ABOUT
READING--not how to read but the fact that books bring joy and
knowledge. Caring parents not only read to the child frequently but make sure the child sees
them reading. Reading and learning then become strong family values as well as fun.
Parents should have HIGH EXPECTATIONS about their child's success at school. The
child should know that doing well at school is important and that school is the top priority in
the child's life.
Parents should let their children SEE HOW THEY DO TASKS THAT REQUIRE
ORGANIZATION like paying bills. Let the child help by placing the stamps so the child will
be part of the process, but what's important is that the child sees how a necessary task is
approached and carried out.
What role should parents play when it comes to homework? There is no question that
parents should not do the child's homework nor assume responsibility for getting it done. On
the other hand I don't feel "sink or swim" is the way to go.
My philosophy of parental involvement consists of three principles:
1. Parents must provide the homework environment. Children
don't have the wherewithal to buy a desk or a dictionary. That's your job.
Every child needs a quiet place to work with no other people or distractions around. Ideally
this is the child's own room. If the room is shared with a younger sibling, parents need to find
a creative solution which will give the school child the proper environment for work without
interruption.
Every child needs the necessary equipment for homework just as you need necessities at
your desk at work. To start, the child needs a desk or table with good lighting, an
age-appropriate dictionary, paper, pencils, etc. Later parents may need to add a calculator
or even a computer. Although you should always take the child with you when you shop for
school supplies it's your job to see that the child is set before the first day of homework.
2. The child OWNS THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HOMEWORK. This must be
clear to everyone. It is the child's responsibility to bring homework home, remember to do it,
take the work seriously, and remember to take it back to school.
3. Parents should be available to help IF THE CHILD IS STUCK. And, of course,
parents should give the right kind of help.
A child who is stuck can do several things: Figure it out. Look it up somewhere. Stare at the
paper for hours. Give up. Ask for help.
A child in the early grades is limited in his or her ability to figure it out or look it up. If your
child asks for help (and I would encourage your child to ask, certainly up to grade four) give
it.
Help the child recall what he or she has learned. "What did the teacher tell you to do?" Show
the child how to look something up in the dictionary or encyclopedia, or find a sample
problem in the math book. Give the child an easier example to boost confidence levels. Show
the child how to break down the task into do-able parts. Check the child's answers if there is
doubt.
Encourage the "stuck" child to take a break for a few minutes. Be sure no child spends too
much time on homework. If the child seems to be doing so, find out whether this is a
"staring-at-the-paper" phenomenon or real homework overload. Overload can arise in two
ways: the child needs extra time in order to keep up or do the work or the teacher assigns
too much. Either way, talk to the teacher.
Help your child make the TRANSITION TO SELF-HELP. My daughter wanted me to test
her on her spelling words before the weekly quiz. I showed her how to test herself by
covering up each word, writing it down, and checking if what she wrote was correct. I gave
her a red pencil so she could play teacher as well as pupil. She was proud she could do it
herself.
As long as parents do not do the child's homework or take over the responsibility element,
judicious parental help is in order. Saying, "Ask your teacher." or "I'm too busy." or "It's your
problem." could give a message that you are not interested in your child's success at school. I
can't think of a worse message.
Copyright © Marilyn Heins, M.D. is a pediatrician, parenting educator, writer, mother, step-mother, and grandmother. She has written close to 600 parenting columns for the Arizona Daily Star and her second parenting book, ParenTips, was published in 1999. Designed for today’s
busy parents, her book provides parenting skills and strategies that work. Dr. Heins has a parenting website, parentkidsright.com, and lectures widely to parents, grandparents, and those who work with children. Reprinted with permission.
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