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National Kids' Day
I have had the long held belief that parenting is universal. Take baby poop for example. The mouth the food goes into may
grow up to speak one of a thousand different dialects, but the end result in the diaper is the same in any language: PHEW!
And what about tantrums? A three year old pitching a fit in India, looks and sounds just like the three year old in Indiana.
They both stomp their feet, speak in tongues and turn the same shade of crimson when denied what they want. And a
teenager in South Dakota rolls his/her eyes in the exact same fashion when denied the car keys as does the teen in the
deserts of Saudi Arabia who has lost camel privileges for the week.
Kids are kids, thus parenting is universal.
There is some measure of comfort in knowing you are not alone. One of my favorite parenting scenarios is the one when your
child finally questions the many days set aside to pay homage to Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, teachers,
secretaries, plumbers, painters, parsnips and potted plants. While signing yet another card, they all eventually ask, in a
voice ringing with righteous indignation, "Why isn't there a Kids' Day?"
The response, though not taught in any parenting "how-to" book, class or lecture is universally the same. Five simple words,
delivered with the same incredulous laugh, the same sense of "HA!", the same cadence and tempo: "Kids' Day is every day!"
And universally, the kid in question, responds with the same pithy, impotent reply, "That's not fair!"
Well, leave it to the politically correct coalition to step in and make it fair.
This Sunday, August 4th, we will officially celebrate the 2nd annual National Kids' Day. Yes, the 2nd, although this is the first
year I have heard of it. It must have slipped beneath my radar while I was busy making breakfast, lunch and dinner for my
children. Maybe I was too busy shuttling my three daughters to soccer, ice skating and gymnastics to read the headline in
the paper? Perhaps I missed Tom Brokaw's announcement while I was watching the 75th video showing of Shrek with the
kids? It is possible I had nodded off when the official proclamation was being made, but then I had been up till 3 am hot
gluing styrofoam balls and tin foil together for my daughter's science fair. Or maybe they declared Kids' Day while I was in
the attic digging through fifty moving boxes to find that one missing Monopoly piece my 8 year insisted was her lucky piece,
and the only way she could win? Then again, it could have taken place while my concentration was being used to perfectly
dissect the crust from my five year old's peanut butter sandwich so she would not "gag and die, Mom!". You know, I bet the
drone of the sewing machine drowned out the sound of the Kids' Day parade taking place! But my 10 year old had to have
"these pants for picture day!" No, I bet I was at the park attempting to swing three kids at once when the Publisher's
Clearinghouse of Kids' Day knocked on our door? Although the sound of *Nsync blaring Bye, Bye, Bye on the CD player in
the minivan could very well have obliterated the radio announcement on NPR. And it is entirely likely that I was in the middle
of the 3,000th reading of Green Eggs & Ham when the hoopla ensued. "I will not hear a single thing, I will not hear the
telephone ring, I will not hear an anchor man, when I read Green Eggs & Ham."
Well, I can't undo the past, but this year I vow to be ready. National Kids' Day should be just as special as Teacher's Day,
Father's Day, Parsnip Day and . . . ahem . . . Mother's Day. I just have to decide . . . do you think my children would prefer
to eat their special breakfast of undercooked scrambled eggs and burned toast before or after they do the laundry, pay some
bills, clean the hamster cage and scrub the toilets?
Copyright © Linda Sharp. Linda is an internationally recognized author & columnist whose work wraps around the globe to appear in print publications from Maine to Malaysia, as well as
across the web. Linda is also creator of the totally irreverent and hysterical website, "Sanity Central: A Time Out From Parenting!" Her latest book, Stretchmarks On My Sanity: The Growing Pains of Raising a Family, has earned her rave reviews and comparisons to
the late Erma Bombeck. She may be reached via email at lsharp03@aol.com. Reprinted with permission.
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