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The Girlfriends Guide to Pediatric Eczema - Part II
Go back to Part I
Top Ten Reasons Eczema Is a Mommy Guilt Trip
- Maybe strangers will think we are lax about keeping our kids clean enough.
"BUT HE SMELLS LIKE SOAP AND SHAMPOO ALL DAY LONG!
- Maybe we're disappointed that our baby's beauty is marred by the rash. "DO
THEY MAKE BABY CONCEALING MAKE-UP?"
- Maybe our child is suffering like this because we gave them our own puny
genes for hay fever or asthma. "THEY PROBABLY GOT IT FROM US!! YIKES!"
- Maybe our child is not doing as well as he or she should in school because
of the distractions of eczema. "THEY'LL NEVER GET INTO AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL!"
- Maybe the other kids tease ours when they have a flare-up. "OUR DARLING
WILL FEEL SOCIALLY ISOLATED AND NEVER HAVE ANY FRIENDS!"
- Maybe we worry that we are barking too much at our kids because they're
wiggling and squirming and scratching so much. "CAN'T YOU JUST SIT STILL FOR
ONE MINUTE?!"
- Maybe we never had eczema, hay fever or asthma and our husband's side of
the family is just crawling with them and we resent them for it. "THEY
PROBABLY GOT IT FROM HIM!"
- Maybe we've asked around and checked online and we're so confused by the
conflicting information that we do nothing. "WHEN IN DOUBT, FREEZE!"
- Maybe we've tried so many remedies that haven't worked that we mostly just
hope they'll grow out of it on their own. "IF I CLOSE MY EYES, MAYBE IT WILL
BE GONE WHEN I OPEN THEM AGAIN."
- Maybe we're afraid to go to the doctor because we don't understand the
medications that are available and what's in them. "PLEASE DON'T TELL ME MY
ONLY OPTION IS SOMETHING THAT CAN HAVE SERIOUS SIDE EFFECTS!"
In Spite of Your Misery, This Is About Your Child Mom!
If you think that itching is the only thing upsetting your child about eczema, you're deluding yourself, Mom. From a
very young age, kids are concerned about their bodies the same as everybody
else. Remember, little boys as young as two and one half notice if any of their
friends have "lost their penises," -- in other words, they're girls. If they
notice patches of angry itchy skin on their bodies and not on their friends',
they might start to wonder why. And, as they grow to understand how eczema can
interfere with their lives during flare-ups, they will probably feel betrayed by
Mother Nature.
My Girlfriend Sherry's little girls both had eczema and, even though the girls are now in college, Sherry can just weep
when she thinks about how unkind and ignorant the others in their preschool
classes were -- and WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE PARENTS! As any parent knows, little
kids are without social conscience when it comes to pointing out other kids'
differences, be they strawberry birthmarks or a physical handicap, but parents
can be pretty rough, too. It's our job as moms of eczema kids to educate
everybody in our kids' little world to the facts about the condition and stop
ignoring the elephant that's sitting in the room.
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One of the best ways I've discovered to begin a conversation about eczema with a young child is to give them a piece of
paper and crayons and ask them to draw a picture of how they feel when they have
eczema. Then give them another piece of paper to draw how they feel when they
don't have eczema.
When I've seen drawings like these, I've been shocked by how vividly they depict sadness, anger and how big and dramatic
the rashes look in the first group, and by how happy and clear and social the
kids look in the second group.
Take your cues from the drawings. Perhaps you'll want to start a conversation by saying something like, "It looks like you
feel like crying when you have eczema. What part of it is the worst part?" Your
child may tell you the itching is the worst or having to use medication every
day is the worst or being different from other kids is the worst. Then sit back
and listen because eczema can have a profound emotional impact and your child
needs you to help lessen the blow.
Then help your little one go to his school or daycare armed with confidence and information. You might ask the
school nurse, teachers, or aides to join you while you and your child give the
class a short, concise lesson on eczema and what it means in your child's life.
You might remind the kids that the condition comes and goes, but that it never
spreads from one child to the other.
And when it comes to flare-ups, it might be extra nice of the other kids to be even friendlier and more supportive of
your child since he might be feeling sad or embarrassed. End the chat by asking
the other kids if they have anything, be it eczema, a birthmark, asthma, or any
other thing about their body that sometimes makes them feel sad or embarrassed.
I promise you will get a vivid response from every little tyke in the room! Just
be prepared to become the class's eczema specialist because once the other
parents hear about you, they'll start seeking you out.
Make a Superhero Plan With Your Child to Fight Eczema
Perhaps the greatest gift you can give your child, not to mention yourself, is a feeling of control over this
condition. Like Superman or Wonder Woman, your child can be the boss of eczema
with a good plan. Sit down with your little itchy scratcher and together make a
plan for how your Super Team will vanquish the worst parts of
eczema. I'm providing a sample, but if your child feels that every doctor's
visit should be followed by a trip to the ice cream store, make sure you write
that down, too!
1. Start with a visit to the doctor
- Be prepared to answer questions about your family's medical history.
Recall the first time you noticed eczema symptoms in your child, and if the
flare-ups seem to be predictable in any way, like being more common in winter
than in summer. Also, be prepared to discuss all the allergies or
sensitivities that you may have noticed in your child. Prepare a list of
medications that your little one is currently taking. You should also list
medications that have been tried previously, but have not helped your child's
eczema.
- Bring a list of questions, both yours and your child's, to ask the doctor.
Some good questions might be: "Is medication appropriate?" "What medical
options are there?" "Is one kind of soap or detergent better for people with
eczema?"
- Let the doctor know that you and your child intend to stay active in your
control of eczema and you'll be checking in regularly with him or her.
- Remember, while children often outgrow eczema, there is no cure; so all
members of the team have to be prepared to stay on top of it. It's not
something to be diagnosed once and never checked again.
2. Clean out your child's closet
- All sorts of irritating and rough clothing can trigger eczema, as my
daughter let me know from the time she could slip out of a shirt alone. Some
kids are sensitive to wool, latex or the polyester thread used in tags. Cut
out all labels and try to buy clothes without exposed elastic. As for spandex,
leave it in the seventies where it belongs.
- Just as we mothers always suspected, cotton clothes are the best, in all
seasons. Layer clothing in colder weather so that your child stays warm, but
doesn't feel like she's wearing a sauna suit. Just remember, for safety
reasons, children's pajamas must be flame- retardant so if you pick all-cotton
loungewear for them to sleep in, it will not have that protection.
- Ruffles and tight waistbands can also aggravate sensitive skin.
3. Make some simple changes to your child's room
- Turn down the thermostat to a comfortable level in wintertime and add
another cotton blanket to the bed. Overheated rooms can be overly dry and
over-dry rooms can cause kids to have itchy skin.
- Consider moving the stuffed animal collection to the playroom or into
storage (just keeping the most precious ones around). Stuffed animals hold
massive amounts of dust that can be a trigger.
- Invest in a humidifier. Hey, if supermodels can't live without them, why
should your little angel? It's that dry skin thing again.
4. Create a special bathtime ritual
- A lukewarm, not hot, bath is best. Avoid bubbles; not only are they
possible irritants to the skin but to little girls' urinary tracts.
- Use mild soap or non-soap cleansers.
- Try an oatmeal bath treatment when your child has a flare-up.
- Keep the bath on the short side -- no need for pruneyfingered soaks.
- Blot, don't rub, dry with a towel, and while the skin is still warm and
steamy (usually within three minutes) rub in some "high-octane" moisturizer.
Don't forget the face!
- If your child is using a topical prescription medication, apply it to the
warm and steamy skin BEFORE you apply the moisturizers. Just remember, the
whole idea is to literally trap the bath moisture in the child's skin to keep
it nice and dewy.
- Twice a week, cut your sweetie's fingernails. Do it right after the
moisturizing session, while the nails are soft from the bath. Long nails break
the skin when the kids scratch and can cause infection.
- Skip the perfume and powders. If your little one just can't live without a
sweet smell enveloping her, sprinkle a little talc on her bed sheets.
5. Encourage your child to educate teachers and classmates about eczema (I simply can't hammer this nail enough.)
- This is not something to be suffered in silence. Teaching others more
about this condition empowers your child and informs others.
- Many classes have a special time each week for kids to share feelings and resolve conflicts. This would be a safe
and protected time for your child to talk about her eczema and how she feels
about it. The other kids can ask her questions, too.
- Take a cue from your child and talk to the other parents in his class or playgroup. Trust me, you'll have mothers
crying with gratitude for helping them to help their own children with eczema.
6. Help your child find a way to release stress and pent-up energy every day
- Stress is a common trigger for eczema. (I used to get flare-ups in college
at finals time, and now it's part of my PMS package so I know of what I
speak.) Playing tag, shooting baskets, catching a ball or jumping rope may
help your child avoid a flare-up and if you play too, could help you drop a
couple of pounds.
- A child who feels athletic has a better body image than a couch potato,
and we all know any child could use that, whether they have eczema or not.
- Some parents try to keep their kids out of swimming pools all summer in an
effort to avoid the drying effects of chlorine and the sting of most
sunscreens on eczema skin. Dr. Hebert and I suggest they rethink this. First
of all, the chlorine can actually reduce some of the topical bacteria that can
collect on the skin. You can minimize the drying effects of chlorine by taking
a shower immediately after the plunge, followed by the moisturizing ritual
that we so heartily recommend after a bath. And as for the sunblock sting, Dr.
Hebert and I recommend sunscreens and blocks that contain only one active
ingredient, titanium dioxide; these are very effective and don't hurt
sensitive skin.
7. Check in with your child's doctor at the onset of a flare-up or every six months
- Tell your doctor if you suspect a skin infection. There is a heightened
risk to eczema sufferers of contracting a bacterial or viral infection such as
fever blisters/cold sores from other kids, as well as warts and a condition my
older daughter got called molluscum, which is like patches of tiny blisters.
The doctor might prescribe antibacterial or antiviral drugs at this time.
- Discuss whether you've noticed any other sensitivities or allergic-type
symptoms in your child. Two of my four also had terrible hay fever and one had
asthma.
- Tell your doctor if your child's sleep is seriously disrupted by the
itching of a flare-up. They may recommend an antihistamine that has a drowsy
effect. (See if they suggest you take one, too! After all, you're more sleep
deprived than anyone else in the family.)
8. Remind your precious one that you are on his superhero team 24/7
- Avoid the temptation to get lax about the game plan or to rely too much on
your child's own initiative. I still have to remind my 14-ear-old son to trim
his nails and use a moisturizer.
- Don't think that just because they aren't talking about their eczema, they
aren't thinking about it. Without sounding like a broken record, remember to
check in with your child every few weeks, especially during a flare-up, to see
how they're feeling. If necessary, bring out the crayons and paper again.
- Believe in the magic power of ritual. Once you've got the bathtime routine
down pat, it will have a hypnotic effect on your child, cross my heart. Don't
break the magic spell by being inconsistent.
9. Remember, there have been great advances in the treatment of this
disease to help you win the battle against eczema!
- I have had a dermatologist of my own since my first case of acne and now
that Botox is all the rage, I continue to keep up our close relationship.
Somehow, however, I was very slow to grasp the value of a professional's help
in dealing with my kids' skin problems. (Of course, that breast milk
expression suggestion did set me back at least a decade.) Now, if I leave you
with only one message, it's to see your pediatrician, a dermatologist or an
allergist as soon as you suspect eczema. It could change your life, and your
child's.
 About Vicki Iovine
"A day late and a night's sleep short" is the motto of writer, columnist,
wife and mother (not in that order, of course!) Vicki Iovine. Vicki began her
writing career after the birth of her fourth child in six years with the
publication of "The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy." This book struck a chord
among women who found maternity an altered state, and Vicki soon became a
regular contributor on such shows as "The Today Show," "Oprah" and "The View."
She kept in lock step with the reproductive years of her readers and
published "The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy Daily Diary"; "The Girlfriends'
Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood"; and "The Girlfriends' Guide to
Toddlers." Her most recent release is called "The Girlfriends' Guide to Getting
Your Groove Back."
Always armed with an opinion and lots of experience, Vicki has been an advice
columnist for Child magazine for five years. And with nearly twenty years
of marriage under her belt, she regularly contributes articles to Redbook
as the "Marriage Advisor" on the mysteries of the man/woman thing. Most
recently, Vicki has sold a feature film screenplay to Twentieth Century Fox.
Far more years ago than she cares to calculate, Vicki graduated summa cum
laude, Phi Beta Kappa in journalism from the University of California, Berkeley.
She went on to earn her J.D. at Hastings College of Law and is a member of the
California Bar Association. Vicki was also a Rotary International Scholar and
attended graduate school in England at Cambridge University where she earned an
LL.B.
Any spare moments she can find are devoted to her role as a Director of
Special Olympics International, the athletic program founded by Eunice Kennedy
Shriver for which she has helped raise nearly $65 million.
Vicki lives in Los Angeles with her husband Jimmy and their four kids, two
boys and two girls, ages 8 to 14.
This booklet is brought to you by Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation, NOVARTIS, Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corporation, East Hanover, New Jersey 07936. © 2002 Novartis Printed in USA ELI-9196
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Copyright © Novartis; By Vicki Iovine. All art used in this booklet was created by actual eczema patients age 4-12 for the Many Faces of Eczema Children's Art Contest, sponsored by Novartis. Reprinted with permission.
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