Forgive even if you will never be able to Forget:
Let go of grudges you may hold against your child’s
other parent, who is absent from BOTH of your lives. Holding
onto feelings of anger will not change your situation and will
probably consume a great deal of your energy - energy you need
to devote to creating a positive environment for your child. If
you dwell on your disappointment with and/or dislike of the
father or mother of your child - chances are your child will
sense your feelings and suffer in some way from your negative
attitude.
Make the most of everything you have:
Even if you do not have a lot of money, you do have your
child and your love and your time to give to him or her. Try to
remember that monetary wealth and material possessions are not
the most important items in your child’s life. Your love,
support and time together mean much more to them. You can have
fun for free. Activities like - going for a walk or a bike
ride, playing at the park, coloring, painting, singing, or
dancing - will thrill your child just as much as spending money
to go to an amusement park, an arcade or a toy store.
Be the best parent you can possibly be:
Give as much as you can without setting goals that are
unrealistic for one parent to achieve. Don’t beat yourself up
for what cannot be. Do recognize what you can do to create a
good life for your child to the best of your abilities.
Develop a network of reliable resources:
Families are not biological. Surround yourself and your
child with friends you know and trust - people who care about
both of you. "Aunts" and "Uncles" and even "Grandparents", who
are not blood-related can be just as beneficial to your child as
actual biological family members. The "family" you create for
your child can provide him or her with the same kind of love and
support as a traditional family. They can also help you with
your responsibilities as a single parent. Let them play an
active role in your child’s life. Learn to turn to
your "family" when you need a break. Nobody should have to go
it alone and you will probably be able to be a better parent by
relying on your "family" of close friends to support you and
your child.
Take responsibility for your life today:
Remember whatever lead you to where you are today, you
are responsible for another life - the innocent life of a
child, who didn’t ask to be born. Your child is not responsible
for the experiences or events that made you become a single
parent. Your child is completely dependent upon you through no
choice of their own. Don’t let them down or hold them
accountable for your actions (or the actions of their absent
parent). They are powerless and vulnerable to the possibly less-
than-ideal consequences they face as the child of a single
parent. Your role and influence in their life is paramount to
their chances of becoming a happy, productive, successful
adult. They need you more than their words will ever tell.
Set up daily rituals and regular routines:
Your child needs stability and security. One way to
provide this is by developing a daily routine. Simple things
like - going to the park every Sunday afternoon, eating dinner
together each night, sharing a treat before nap time or reading
a book together before bed every night, will become activities
that your child looks forward to and can count on to occur with
regularity.
Be consistent and dependable:
Create realistic rules and a standard of discipline
that you stick to all the time. If you’re consistent with your
child, he or she will learn what is acceptable behavior and
what is not. They will also learn what you expect from them and
what they can expect from you. If you’re dependable, they will
know that they can always count on you to help them with their
homework, be there for dinner or tuck them in bed at night.
They have to be able to depend on you. You’re the most
important person in their life. Try to remember that no matter
how tired you are at the end of the day or how frustrated you
may become when they’re fussy - They need you to be there for
them. You should cherish every moment with your child - they
are the best blessings on earth.
