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Infant Potty Training
 Is it possible that we have been misled by "medlore" and the diaper industry into believing that babies cannot and should not be gradually introduced to toileting from early infancy? Sadly, this seems to be the case, but now there is encouraging news for parents who don't want to wait years for their kids to "self-train".
The good news is that a different and, in my opinion and experience, far better way of dealing with toileting babies has been in use for centuries in Asia and Africa. Mothers in many societies around the world use few or no diapers at all. Even better, the method is logical, good for the environment, frugal and an enhancement to bonding & communication with your baby.
The philosophy behind this method is that there is a window of learning open from birth until about 4-5 months. During this sensitive period, babies are very aware of elimination. They attempt to communicate, but we don't watch and listen since no one has taught us how to do so. Instead, we train our babies to use a diaper as their toilet, and they have to unlearn this behavior later.
The basics of infant potty training involve learning your infant's elimination body language, timing and patterns, and/or instinctively knowing when your baby needs to go.
When my son was 3 months old, a lady from India taught me this nurturing way to toilet him. She told me that in India, they start pottying their babies around 1 month old and finish before their babies walk. At that time, babies still need some assistance since they can't dress or walk, but mothers there don't consider these things to be a big deal. Staying clean and dry, giving signals, and responding to cues is what it is all about. Once babies can crawl, they typically head for the bathroom door when they need to go, and mothers are delighted to help with the rest.
There are, of course, many different ways a baby can communicate the need to go, including body language, vocalizations, imploring looks, pointing and eventually sign language and verbalizations. Some babies may give obvious signals for one kind of elimination but not the other. In situations where your infant's signals are not clear, you may need to rely on timing, elimination patterns, body language, intuition or a combination of these.
 The Indian lady showed me how to hold my son in-arms (for a photo, click on the URL at the end of this article), then made a little watery sound (sssss) to encourage him to "go." He responded immediately! I soon got the hang of it and gained confidence within a few days. I had used conventional toilet training with my first two sons and found this new method to be much better in all respects.
Infant toilet learning is growing in popularity in Western countries and should NOT be confused with a similar but different method that was used in the USA until the 1950s. Parents gradually reduce the number of diaper-changes and associated dirty laundry (sheets, wet or soiled clothes, etc.) until their babies complete toilet training. The ideal time to start is between birth and 4 months, so you need to learn about it during pregnancy or the early months of your baby's life.
Around age 9-12 months, babies who started with this method in infancy have reasonable control of elimination but of course still need assistance getting to the toilet place on time. Around 15-18 months, they have relatively few "accidents" but still need reminders and some assistance. The average age of completion in the West is around 2 years, although some finish around 18 months.
Critics of this method vehemently and proudly proclaim that it is time consuming and requires mothers to spend time with their babies. People with this attitude will not fare well with this method, and there is no point in trying to convince them to try it.
 It is true that it takes time—especially when you first start, but in the end it does not take any longer than traditional toilet training and sometimes far less, all things considered. Other qualities you'll need are patience, diligence and the desire to use this age-old and fun method of toilet learning. It is essential to note that this is a non-punitive method, so parents need to be relaxed and loving. And if you are worried about medical opinions, happily, the tide is beginning to turn. In the August 2000 issue of the British Journal of Urology International, the authors conclude that the current Western views on bladder and bowel control are incorrect and that it is better to start in infancy than to delay.
What about late-starters? Since most of us don't even start reading about potty training until our babies are 12-24 months, we miss the sensitive period. In fact, this is the most common thing asked of me, "Is my baby too old to start?"— a question from parents whose babies are 6 months or older. It is harder to start with a mobile baby, and also with a baby who has been "trained" to go in a diaper or who wears disposables and does not associate the feeling of wetness with elimination. It mainly depends how much you'd like to use this method. If you feel it is right for you and your baby, you will be determined to work through the kinks, and you'll do okay, as long as there are no major upsets in your family life or health. Every child is different and develops at his own rate. I usually recommend parents of babies over 4-5 months give this a try for a few weeks, then assess whether you want to continue.
Copyright © 2000, Reprinted with permission. Laurie Boucke is the mother of three sons and is Phi Beta Kappa, University of California. She has authored seven books, including two on the topic of this article, with "Infant Potty Training" being her latest work (May 2000, 520 pages). Visit her website for more free info on this topic, including photos and more links. Contact Laurie at laurieb@white-boucke.com
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