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Adventures in De-Cluttering
By Dawn Miller.
Two weeks ago in Confessions of a Clean Sweep Groupie, I talked about the merits of de-cluttering and how a TV show has inspired me to pare down my household. As you sort through your home, here’s a few tips to help you deal with the stuff.
1. Get rid of things that give you bad memories – or the weebie-jeebies. It can be easy for a second wife to feel sometimes like she is living in someone else’s life. And all its leftovers.
My husband still owns a bed frame and dining table from his first marriage. The bed was refurbished and outfitted with new mattresses. The dining room table did two years of service and is now joining my stepson at college. For me – these items don’t hold any weebie-jeebie karma– but I know other stepmoms who would have given those items the toss.
When I stumbled across a photo of my husband’s ex-girlfriend while sorting out boxes in the basement, it didn’t bother me. But it sure bothered everyone else. My stepdaughter begged me to let her cut it up. She gleefully hacked it into tiny pieces – releasing herself from a bad memory.
2. Keep items that are quality and that you use today. Don’t allow the amount of money you spent on something ten years ago dictate its occupation of your space today. It can be difficult to part with the suit you spent a fortune on and can’t squeeze into or, the salad spinner your grandma gave you that is still in the box.
If you find something you never use, but want to keep it, agree to use it within an amount of time or toss it. I found the ice cream maker given to us as a wedding gift still unopened. A month later it churned out some of the best ice cream ever for a party.
As self-avowed people who don’t like to waste money, my husband and I have a hard time parting with things – even if they’re coated in dust. To get over the “purging hump,” try to put a price tag on your peace of mind. Too much stuff and too many projects nagging for attention can distract you from the things that matter. What price would you put on not reaching your goals?
3. Store the things you keep in the space that you have right now. This is easier said than done. Taming the clutter is an ongoing battle. A constant stream of new items enters our homes throughout the year, disrupting our tidy organizational schemes.
Whatever system you embrace – and there are many available – choose one that you like, is easy to use, and leaves room for growth. One rule my mother observes religiously, is that every time she buys a new garment she eliminates one from her closet – it’s simple and prevents her closet from logjamming. And there’s the practicality issue.
How many t-shirts, purses, office clothes and shoes does one truly need? I sorted my clothes into categories – and was shocked. A decade of good causes had left me with 40+ t-shirts. Even if I work out every day (hah!) and only do laundry every two weeks, I can only wear 15 shirts. So I picked out my favorites and sent the rest to charity.
4. Honor the things you value by taking care of them. Keepsakes should be treasured, not allowed to grow dust bunnies under a mountain of junk. Plates can be hung on the wall and mementoes framed.My husband has very few pictures of his children’s early years during his previous marriage – the four snapshots we have are carefully framed and given a place of prominence.
We want to honor the relationships our stepchildren have with both their parents, and also build a new home – which makes photos with ex-spouses tricky to manage. When we were given a photo of my husband’s first wedding after a relative passed away, we tactfully accepted and saved it for my stepdaughter. As I handed it to her I said, you know someday you will want to show this to your children, so you should put this in the photo album in your room. She was grateful to have it and tucked it away.
De-cluttering your home can be strangely liberating – and almost as freeing as making your peace with the past.
Copyright © Dawn Miller. A thirty-something wife and stepmom of three, Dawn writes a bi-weekly column on life in stepfamilies at TheStepfamilyLife.com. Website links about stepfamilies, a free newsletter and book reviews are available. Reprinted with permission.
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