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Moments for Mom
By Elisabeth Corcoran, Author of Calm in My Chaos.
February 2002
If I were to ask you to picture your closest friend, does one particular person come to mind? Is it a female??? I would like to share a lesson
with you that I am currently working on…our husbands are our friends. Some of you may be thinking, ‘Duh? Of course he is…that’s why I
married him.’ But is he really? And if he isn’t, why not? Are you possibly the hindrance in the friendship? I read somewhere that you are
your husband’s best friend. Even if you can’t picture that, look around his life - more than likely he is sharing more with you and depending
more on you than he is anyone else. For him, you’re it! What are you doing on your end to be his friend?
A girlfriend was sharing with me how she noticed that when she talks on the phone with her husband, she was matter-of-fact and curt, even
showing disappointment with him. But that when she talked with her girlfriends on the phone, she was lighthearted and kind. I asked my
husband a while back what I could do in our marriage for him to be happy. His answer (that cut through my heart and pride), ‘be nice to
me’. Ouch. Why is it that we forget so quickly that the guy we married - you know, the one we eat with, sleep with, spend with, worship
with, have kids with - is actually our friend?
So here is something I am currently working on --- I have resolved to myself just recently that I will share with Kevin first. I’m not just
referring to stuff about Kevin or our marriage, but church stuff, friend stuff, things I’m struggling with. If I haven’t shared it with Kevin, I
won’t share it with anyone else.
As far as specific marital problems go - please don’t share these with all of your friends. Either seek out counseling if it’s serious enough or if
you just feel stuck, or find a woman you can trust who can mentor you in your marriage. Don’t allow yourself to get together with your
girlfriends and husband-bash. It really does no one any good.
So bottom line - ladies, we need to go to our husbands first. Your husband needs to be the most important person in your life. And I don’t
say this lightly - no matter the state of your marriage relationship. We are called to be wives before and long after our calling to
mothering…so please commit with me to make this a priority in your heart and with your time.
Copyright © Elisabeth K. Corcoran, 2002. Elisabeth K. Corcoran is the author of "Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom's Weary Soul". This column is original and not excerpted from her book. Reprinted with permission.
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