|
Moments for Mom
By Elisabeth Corcoran, Author of Calm in My Chaos.
July 2001
I just did one of the stupidest things in my life. As if someone else, I watched myself angrily put black suede sparkled boots
on my daughter’s feet because she actually refused to brush her teeth without donning some type of footwear. We were in
the midst of a battle – I could think of no proper choices to give her – I couldn’t seem to stay the one in control – and she
won. She won this battle. I walked out of the room after watching her happily brush her teeth, boot-clad, just shaking my
head, wondering where she got this will of iron.
Funny, my husband would insist she got it from me. He says it with a smile and a twinkle in his eye, but I swear that he
almost believes that one day I took Sara aside, sat her down and said, ‘this is how you can get your way for the rest of your
life’, and proceeded to give her my tricks of the trade. But as far as I can recall, that never actually happened.
So was it osmosis? She sees me walk around on a daily basis wielding my power as woman-hear-me-roar, and decided that
she wanted the same kind of clout herself? Let’s think this through just a bit – if that were truly the case, wouldn’t I
probably have my hands full just abit more with my gentle-spirited son as well? But I don’t. It’s just with Sara.
So is it a mother-daughter thing that started at 10 months? Do I have a lifetime of battle-choosing and battle-losing ahead of
me? Do I have to lay down my mothering muscle at the foot of my 4-1/2 year old daughter because somehow she is able to
outsmart me a good portion of the time?
You’d think I was gearing up to answer myself here – but I’m not. I am clueless.
You know, the other day, I reminded Sara to make her bed before coming downstairs (an act that she normally must do
because it drives her nuts to have her room undone in any fashion). But this particular day, she said, ‘I don’t want to make
my bed today.’ Taken aback, I said, ‘Sara, you have two choices…you can either make your bed now or…’ And I was
stumped. My mind could not come up with an alternative…I wasn’t going to make her stay home from church that day, nor
was I going to withhold breakfast if she didn’t comply. So I took a deep breath, stalling, and repeated, ‘Sara, your choices
are that you can either make your bed or…ummm…you can make your bed or…’ And she looked at me, sighed, and said,
‘Mommy, why don’t I just make my bed?’ My lack of quick thinking had apparently bored my daughter into obedience.
Sadly, it wasn’t so much that she desired to please me – she was simply uninterested in watching me strain my brain so
much. I may have won the battle that time, but I’m not so sure if by default really counts.
Outwitted again…ahhh, but it mustn’t be like this for the long haul. Yes, she may prevail in a battle here and there – but
our God has given me authority as her parent…and occasionally, when I actually think to ask for it, He gives me creativity
and wisdom. She may win in the moment from time to time – but she doesn’t see what I see – that I am attempting to train
her for a life that is built on something much bigger than getting her own way. And for that, God is on my side.
Copyright © Elisabeth K. Corcoran, 2001. Elisabeth K. Corcoran is the author of "Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom's Weary Soul". This column is original and not excerpted from her book. Reprinted with permission.
|
