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Moments for Mom
By Elisabeth Corcoran, Author of Calm in My Chaos.
December 2008
Peace, as defined loosely in my mind, has something to do with not feeling all chaotic inside. Something to do with thoughts coming at you one at a time as God intended. Your heart beating at a regular pace. No headaches. No butterflies. Breathing in and out slowly. All being well with my soul and in my little world.
Webster’s third definition, the one that has to do with individuals, is a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, esp. in personal relations.
Oh my. I’m already tripped up. Mutual and harmony seem out of place to me in that sentence. I mean, don’t get me wrong, that would be ideal. But if I can only partake of peace when I’ve got myself some mutual harmony going on, I may never…none of us may ever…really get peace.
Because when I have needed peace the most, over say, the past fifteen years, it has been in a relationship where there isn’t a lot of mutuality going on and none too few pleasing chords are being struck.
Peace comes, for me, in bits and pieces. That I have come to realize I actually have to fight for. Wrestling it to the ground like Jacob wrestled with the angel…until his hip was displaced…until he got his blessing. That’s how I’ve been fighting for peace lately, with a limp and a new name.
I don’t say the serenity prayer (“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference...”) and feel heaven part its doors and shower down peace upon me like manna, though that would be swell.
I say the serenity prayer, or any kind of prayer, and then I wait.
I read Scripture, any kind of Scripture, and then I wait.
I take some deep breaths and I wait. I do yoga and I wait. I drink chamomile tea and I wait. I close my eyes and count to ten and I wait. I read a book or a magazine or the back of a cereal box and I wait.
I claim Philippians 4:6-7 as my truth, because it is Truth: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, WILL guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
And sometimes it comes. Sometimes. Just sometimes. Sometimes I physically feel a quietness wash over me from head to toe and settle into my soul.
But sometimes, most times, I have to tell myself that peace is really there even when I don’t feel it. Which, to me, seems pointless.
Because what’s peace if you can’t feel it?
Well, maybe, after all, it’s not really a feeling. Maybe those grand times when we actually feel peace, that is just an added and occasional gift that we need to be genuinely thankful for.
Because I think what peace really is is a Truth. It’s a knowing. It’s a steadiness whether or not there’s mutual anything or harmonious such-and-such. (Sorry, Webster…)
But it does exist…I’m convinced of it. No matter what the winds of change and circumstance and our fickle feelings allude to otherwise. Peace is mine to keep company with, if and when I so choose.
And as we walk into the holidays, with their frantic pace that can sway us to and fro, we can cling to Peace. The Peace that came to rescue us from ourselves and from the harshness of our world. Peace came down and now dwells among us.
Merry Christmas, ladies.
Copyright © Elisabeth Corcoran. Elisabeth lives with husband, Kevin, and children, Sara, 12, and Jack, 10-&-1/2, in Elburn, Illinois. She is the author of the devotionals, "In Search of Calm: Renewal for a Mother’s Heart" (2005), and "Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom's Weary Soul" (2001); the monthly column, "Moments for Mom," and for two years was the contributing editor of the "Mothering Matters" section of MOPS magazine, MomSense. After ten years of leading Women’s Ministry and four years on staff at Christ Community Church – Blackberry Creek Campus over Adult Ministry and Community & International Impact, she is now devoting her time to speaking and writing, working on her next two books. Her passion is to encourage women and the Church, and applying her gifts to eradicating global poverty, as well as local and global AIDS, one small step at a time, which she hopes to fulfill through her writing and speaking, and her connections with Open Door Clinic in the Fox Valley area and her church’s partnership in Bo, Sierra Leone. You can learn more about Elisabeth on her website, or blog. Reprinted with permission.
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