Articles by Lisa Barker

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God’s Sense of Humor By Lisa Barker. When my husband and I awaited the arrival of our children, we never realized that we had within our power the ability to specify certain things for our kids - like common sense. We thought it would be too much to ask God for anything but ten fingers and ten toes. Oh, sure, they’re high honor roll students, but that doesn’t mean they don’t bewilder us with their lack of common sense. The phone rings. My twelve-year-old answers it. I look her straight in the eye and ask, "Who’s on the phone?" "I am!" she says. My other twelve-year old plans a slumber party and to kick it off she plans to swim with her friends at the local pool. Everyone piles into the van and just before we reach the freeway exit my daughter smacks her head. "Wait, Mom! I forgot my swimsuit!" Somewhere on the way to the bedroom to change...she actually forgot to change. Who knows what she was doing in that bathroom for twenty minutes? The nine-year old follows me around the grocery store and inspects everything I put in the cart. He sees me browsing the selection of salmon. "What are we having for dinner?" "Salmon." He sees me put it in the cart. "What’s that?" "Salmon." He sees me pay for it. "Is that fish?" "Yes, it’s salmon." He sees it on the kitchen counter while I prepare it. "What are we having again?" "Salmon." Then, I set it on the table and call the family to eat. "Is this squid?" I’m beyond worry at this point. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that the brightness gene skipped my kids. At that moment, the three-year old walks into the room smacking his head with a plastic baseball bat. Whack! "Ow." Whack! "Ow." Whack! "Ow." I have to take the bat away before he gives himself a concussion. And what have my husband and I learned? When praying for a child, don’t be afraid to specify. Go ahead and ask God to make them smart enough to remember what they are doing while they are doing it. Ask him to give them the ability to make use of the information we give them when they ask us questions, so they don’t keep asking us the same question ten times in a row. Be bold! God will answer these prayers. But parents are humble. We ask only for ten fingers and ten toes. We have no idea what these children will be capable of doing with those digits until it’s too late. We just hope for a sweet bundle of joy. A bundle of joy that will slowly drive us insane because, well, we didn’t ask for anything more! Copyright © Lisa Barker. Lisa is a syndicated humor columnist and mom of five. Her latest book is "Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane...Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" Please visit her website for more information. Reprinted with permission.

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