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Mysteries of the Laundry Pile
By Lisa Barker.
Why do my kids need me to wash their favorite sweatshirt or jeans five days a week, but if I left it up to them they wouldn’t change their bed sheets more than once a year?
Why do socks go in as pairs and come out as singles?
Why can’t M&M’s make their candy able to withstand the heat of the dryer? Melts in your mouth and not in the permanent press cycle...
Why is it that only one leg of a pair of stockings gets wrapped around the agitator in the washer making half of the pair long enough for a ten-foot-tall woman?
How do my husband’s black socks keep slipping into the load of whites to be bleached? He has a nice set of purple undergarments going there...
How come I can’t pull the loose threads on my dishtowels, but the minute I put them in the washer they pull and get tangled with everything else...like that ten-foot leg of pantyhose?
How do Weebles end up at the bottom of every load?
Just how many outfits does Barbie go through in a day? And does she have to wear Velcro? I’m tired of her clothes sticking to my ten-foot stockings.
Why do sweat socks smell like corn chips? How can my children wear their socks just once and yet they can totally stand up on their own when taken off?
Why can the very article of clothing somebody’s looking for end up at the bottom of the damp laundry basket smelling like tuna? And why is it the very article of clothing that MUST be worn in five minutes?
Why do my kids spend thirty minutes slicking their hair straight and walk out the door to school with shirts that look slept in?
How do red shirts end up in the whites EVERY TIME?
Why don’t I believe that the portion size of soap the box suggests is going to be strong enough for the load I’m washing? Don’t these laundry soap manufacturers have kids?
Why is it that a load of laundry takes thirty minutes to dry until it has my baby’s "blankie" in it and then it takes forever? And how do you explain to a hysterical child that "blankie" is coming back?
Whose idea was it to put pockets on the jeans of little boys and tomboys anyway?
Why does the cat keep trying to get in the washer? Should I let her go for a spin?
How can I harness the joy my 22-month old has when he runs to open the dryer, empty it and stick his head inside to yell and hear the echo?
How do I convince my kids that my lopsided ten-foot stockings are not for tug-o-war?
And finally, who keeps filling up those hampers the very minute I have everything washed, dried, folded and put away?
Copyright © Lisa Barker. Lisa Barker writes from home amid the chaos and confusion of a busy household. Mom to five kiddos and nine cats, she finds ample material to keep the smiles and laughs coming. Laugh out loud at JellyMom.com! Reprinted with permission.
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