Articles by Lisa Barker

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Weight Games By Lisa Barker. I went outside to let the dog relieve himself on the lawn and my dear husband walked out right behind my, locking the door, and off he went to work leaving me stuck outside while my two-year old and 3&3189 year old were inside. Of course they REALIZED that they were out of mom’s reach and they proceeded to get into everything they know is off limits. So I tried to break into my own house and the only window that opened was the slim bathroom window, five feet off the ground and about six inches wide (which is less than HALF my berth). I propped up a chair and got my leg in, then tried to SQUEEZE 190 pounds through that opening and half way through I got quite stuck, my legs dangling and helpless, and visions of Pooh Bear stuck in Rabbit's hole came to mind along with the fear someone would have to call the local volunteer fire department to get me out. Talk about a wedgie. I made a last desperate attempt to force my derriere through the window and lunged letting gravity s-l-o-w-l-y pull the rest of my carcass through and at last I was in the house, bruised but in! Shouldn't this inspire me to lose the 60 pounds I need to lose? You’d think it would! But, like most people, when confronted with my weight, as much as I want to lose thirty-pounds, I’m probably not going to do anything very serious about it until I have a major scare. Like if they announce that there is a worldwide shortage on cheesecake! Meanwhile, I play games with myself. TOMORROW, I will start anew. Today I will eat just one more cookie and just one more piece of chocolate. Oops, that was an odd, number. I need to eat one more piece to make it an even number of bites. Oops, that leaves half of a candy bar. I better eat the other half to really make it equal. THEN, I need to eat one more cookie because I feel guilty that I ate more than I’d originally planned to eat. Oh, well, now I might as well just wait until TOMORROW to start anew because I’ve blown it for today. Do you know what I’m talking about? How come we don’t do that with exercise? Hmmm, I just walked three blocks; I better walk one more just to make it even. Oops, that’s five, just one more to make it six. I read somewhere that if you sniff vanilla extract it will stave the desire for chocolate or some sort of calorie laden baked goodie and fool your brain into thinking you’ve satisfied the craving. I don’t know about you, but when I want to EAT something, the last thing I think about is sniffing extract and knowing me, once I opened the bottle, I’d start thinking of my favorite cookie recipe. So tomorrow I will start anew—again. Just as soon as I whip up this batch of cookies and eat just a small equal portion... Copyright © Lisa Barker. Jelly MomTM is written by Lisa Barker and syndicated through Martin-Ola Press/Parent To Parent and is available for newspapers, websites, e-zines and newsletters. For more information and details, please contact editor@parenttoparent.com. Reprinted with permission.

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