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Caring for Your Whole Child: Coaching Parents in Wholistic Care
Your child is a unique blend of traits, habits, and qualities. This blend is what makes her an individual. Therefore, caring for a child demands we address the whole person, not just part of her. While every child must be approached on her level, all children have five basic needs. They are physical, emotional, social, mental, and spiritual. These needs are basic to all human beings, and having them met is crucial to your child’s growth and development.
Wholistic Care
1. Physically: Humans have three basic physical needs. We all need oxygen, water, and food to live. When filling these needs, often we find that quality varies. In many places the air is polluted. In addition, much of our food and water supply contains toxins. These things affect our bodies and do not offer ample energy for the task of daily living. Pure air, water, and food, on the other hand, allow the body to function at its best. While it is hard to control air and water quality, most parents can control what their children eat. Eating a healthy diet gives your child the strength to meet life head on. This means eating foods that are high in fiber and low in fat. It also means eating enough protein, fruits, and vegetables. In addition, parents should choose foods that are free of additives, preservatives, and food coloring.
2. Emotionally: Creating a secure environment is the best thing parents can do for their child emotionally. For a child, feeling physically and emotionally safe is very important. Physically, she needs security. Often that security comes from having structure and order in her life. Parents can fill this need by gently structuring her time, surroundings, and belongings. This may include morning and bedtime rituals, routine meal times, and when appropriate, chores. Emotionally, she needs a stable environment. She also needs to feel that her parents are available should she need them. It is from this place of absolute safety that she will develop and mature emotionally.
3. Socially: All children need social support. When a child is young her family fills that role. However, as she ages that changes. She will start moving into groups outside the family. With this move, she will develop the desire to belong and achieve. She will want to make friends and become part of a larger group. Parents should encourage these moves. Growing beyond the family is important to social maturation. Parents should also realize the importance of being a good role model. As with most things, children model their social behaviors after the ones their parents exhibit. Be sure your child sees you in the role of friend and community member. Let her see you act kindly and affectionately. Also, make sure she sees you give and receive support. By watching you, she will acquire the necessary social skills. From you she will learn the importance of friendship, community, and social support.
4. Mentally: Like the body, the mind has basic needs. Most important among those needs are inspiration and positive self-talk. Inspiration is the key to living well. When a child is inspired, she is more apt to realize her potential. Encourage your child to find inspiration. Journaling, exploring creative outlets and reading about what others have achieved are all ways of doing that. It is also important that your child learn to affirm herself and her actions in a positive manner. This is best done with positive self-talk. Self-talk is our internal dialog. It is what we tell ourselves about ourselves. Helping your child learn to speak positively about and to herself can greatly influence her life. It can affect her confidence, energy level, performance, and relationships with others.
5. Spiritually: All children yearn for a connection. They want to be part of something greater than themselves. For young children, the family fills this spiritual need. However, as a child ages and begins to move outside the family, her need for spirituality grows stronger. It is important for all children to understand they are loved and supported by something greater. This understanding gives her a sense of belonging. It also helps to establish faith in herself and in the world around her. Parents can help their children develop spiritually by sharing their beliefs. This includes introducing your children to religious or spiritual doctrines. It is also important to address the concepts of compassion, love, hope, forgiveness, and faith as well.
Copyright © Caron B. Goode, Ed.D. Dr. Caron Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International, a training and certification program for parent coaches. In addition to duties with the academy, Goode is the founding editor of the website InspiredParenting.net, and the author of ten books, the most recent of which is Nurture Your Child Gift. For more information on The Academy for Coaching Parents International or to sign up for academy announcements, visit this website. Reprinted with permission.
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