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Coaching Parents in Storytelling: Let Fiction Be Your Guide
Stories take us to magical places. They take us outside the realm of our reality and immerse us in a world of possibilities. These possibilities make storytelling an excellent tool for helping children meet the challenges of everyday living. Many children find it hard to discuss their problems. They may feel embarrassed, guilty or shy. Stories offer them a safe place to explore and identify their emotions. When children hear or read stories they become part of another world. It is a world similar to the one in which they live. There are parents, siblings, teachers, and friends. There are also characters who are dealing with the same situations they are. In this way, stories help children know they are not alone in their problems. They also let them see someone else handle the issue. Once exposed to how a storybook character masters a difficult situation, children are often inspired to tackle their own problems.
Storytelling Tips
- What’s the problem? Before choosing a story to read or tell parents first need to pinpoint the problem. This can be difficult if your child is hesitant to share. Think back to the recent past. Has anything changed? Did you move? Did your child change schools or classrooms? Have you noticed that your child is not talking about or playing with the same children as before? Is your child having a hard time grasping a particular subject? Has your toddler developed a fear of the dark? Any change in routine, fear or new challenge may cause problems for your child.
- Look for the book. Once parents identify the problem, they need to find a book that addresses it. Look for stories that are age appropriate and will appeal to your child. Your local librarian can help with this. Another resource is Books to Grow With - A Guide to Using the Best Children’s Fiction for Everyday Issues and Tough Challenges. This reference book, written by Cheryl Coon, offers parents reading suggestions on over one hundred topics. From toilet training to starting school to death, there is a book written about it.
- Accentuate the positive. Make sure that the story you choose has a positive message and positive values. The story is your tool. It is what will help you give your child the confidence to succeed. By seeing a character overcome a tough situation, the child gets the message it is possible. That he can do it too.
- Choose a good time and place. Choosing when and where you share stories with your child can be as important as the story itself. Children will not benefit fully from the message if they are not focused. Pick a comfortable place with no noise or distractions. Choose a time when your child is more centered and less restless. If you have a young child, hold him close or on your lap so that there will be a connection. Also, if you are reading to more than one child, make sure everyone can see the pictures and hear the story. In short, do what you can to ensure that the message is heard.
- Let your enthusiasm show. If you are enthusiastic and excited about the story, it will show. Your child will pick up on your excitement. He will want to listen more carefully and become more involved with the story. The more involved he is in the story, the more likely the message will hit home. You can engage your child in a number of ways. Use different voices for different characters. Use movement or act out some of the action. Try your hand at sound effects. The more entertaining the storyteller, the more absorbed the listener becomes.
- Laugh it up. Like enthusiasm, humor can increase your child’s interest in the story. Humor is also a great tool for offsetting serious issues. Sometimes when children identify with a character or relate to a situation, it makes them sad. Their current problem moves to the forefront, drowning out the story and its positive message. This is your cue to ham it up. Exaggerate. Make funny noises and faces. Jump around. Put some humor into your story time.
- Talk, talk, talk. If the message in the story hits home, your child may become very talkative. Encourage your child to talk at any time during or after the story. In a way, stories help ease their burden and allow children who were previously stoic to open up. If this happens with your child, that is fantastic. The story did its job. If your child doesn’t feel like talking, then perhaps a few gentle questions from you might help.
Copyright © Caron B. Goode, Ed.D. Dr. Caron B. Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International, a training and certification program for parent coaches. In addition to duties with the academy, Goode is the founding editor of the website InspiredParenting.net, and the author of ten books, the most recent of which is Nurture Your Child Gift. For more information on The Academy for Coaching Parents International or to sign up for academy announcements, visit this website. Reprinted with permission.
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